Mon 08:03:27 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . .
http://www.geocities.com/castletimeout/timeout.html
Oour agenda for the evening
Mon 08:03:37 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . hi lynlea..*s*
Mon 08:04:46 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . waiting a few more minutes before starting
Mon 08:05:02 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . *smiles, having read the topics*
Mon 08:05:16 PM EST Jan 30 lynlea^ . . .
smooth southern tones slip sweetly over soft lips...
evening MS Jewel
Mon 08:06:20 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . alright then....first topic
To collar or not to collar? Difference of collars?
Or are collars necessary?
Opinions?
Mon 08:07:32 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . I like symbols and ceremonies... I think they are rites of passage... that bonds in a way than just saying it is so...
Mon 08:07:52 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . better than, that is
Mon 08:08:49 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . yes agreeing they are a symbol..but are they as some have said...equivalent to say a "going steady ring", a "promise ring"
and "engagment ring" a "wedding band"?
Mon 08:10:36 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . well, I would suppose that would be dependent on the couple... everything in this world seems to be... to each his own...
my question would be... IS there an absolute of what it is "supposed" to mean? it is something I have not yet researched...
Mon 08:10:50 PM EST Jan 30 lynlea^ . . .
for me..a collar is a statement to the world of Oour intentions to each Oother...i need that "symbol"
Mon 08:11:59 PM EST Jan 30 lynlea^ . . .
once placed around my throat i wear with pride and in pride
Mon 08:12:26 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . very good question september....and No I dont think there is any set way of what it is supposed to mean....as in beauty..it is all in the eye of the beholder....
Mon 08:13:46 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
~enters quietly~
Mon 08:13:52 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . Is collaring the... top rung of show of commitment? is there something that is supposed to be more to do after that?
Mon 08:14:02 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . lynlea...do you wear yours in public?...you are RT?
Mon 08:14:12 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . hi Mck..*s*
Mon 08:14:43 PM EST Jan 30 lynlea^ . . .
some submissives do not have the need for outward signs of the Ds relationship....
Mon 08:15:17 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . september..guess that depends on the people involved....
there are so many different types of collars....
protection
Collar of Consideration
Full Collar
and any variable that the Ttwo decide upon
Mon 08:15:44 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Hello Jewel..*ws*
september...there are different types of collars....I think too Mmany get confused that a collar equals an engagement or wedding thingy......which isn't the case at all.....
Mon 08:15:51 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . from my understanding... some put on a training collar to see if they are compatible enough to go on in their... journey... then later, when all is set and agreed up, etc... then move to a more permanent collar...
almost like... an engagement to marriage commitment...
Mon 08:16:15 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . ahhh okay *nods*
Mon 08:16:52 PM EST Jan 30 lynlea^ . . .
nods...i have worn a collar in RT...am married now...now collared....it served to help me ..a constant reminder of what i am/was
Mon 08:17:04 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
*nods*..its up to the Ttwo to define what it means to Tthem alone
Mon 08:17:42 PM EST Jan 30 lynlea^ . . .
~nods to Gatoress
Mon 08:18:09 PM EST Jan 30 lynlea^ . . .
second now=not
Mon 08:18:16 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . agrees about the training collar....and also agrees with Mck
Mon 08:18:23 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
*nods to lynlea*...I have a collar.....and have been collared in vt and rt for 6 yrs now........but I don't need to wear it to know Who is Master
Mon 08:19:38 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . .
http://www.geocities.com/castletimeout/timeout.html
Mon 08:19:41 PM EST Jan 30 lynlea^ . . .
blinks.... GatorLady?....giggles...cant see You submissive...a bottom yes...sub no...
Mon 08:19:43 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . in rt, I have asked for an anklet to wear permanently... because one collar or necklace, etc, may not be suitable in all occasions... (ie: go with everything I wear and everywhere I go...ie: church)
and my wedding ring...is yet another collar... for me...
Mon 08:21:00 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . I adore looking down at my ring...it gets me all giddy and reminds me of all that it is ... again, a symbol, a reminder...but obviously not necessary, though it brings great joy to me...
Mon 08:21:03 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . okay....how about topic 2
Is BDSM D/s a journey or a way to have the big O?
Mon 08:22:23 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Sometimes I think a collar in vt is misconstrued......
I have several I work with.....and have devotion with their submission to Me......but none are 'officially' collared.....
I see the point of the CoC being evident...and the Protection and training.......
But not for a couple....or One that has several...
if one has a problem remembering Who they belong to.....they will have the same problem with or without the collar
Mon 08:23:15 PM EST Jan 30 lynlea^ . . .
nods to Lady Mck..waves to Aall
evaps
Mon 08:24:21 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Be well lil troublemaker..*L*
Mon 08:25:00 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . vt collars, you think, are different from rt collars?
Mon 08:25:47 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
I definitely do september
Mon 08:25:52 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . bye lynlea..*s*
Mon 08:26:46 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . I think VT collars are very different...for one thing...VT collars are removed and put on too quickly....
Mon 08:27:16 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . that isnt how it should be though, is it?
Mon 08:27:54 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Only because life is different between rt and vt....
in vt everything is visual...there is no actual touch....smell....taste....and yet.....it is truly a mindfuck that can capture REAL emotions....
on the other hand....rt doesn't have to be played out....its life with up and downs......
Mon 08:28:27 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . and... do you think in vt then, that it is just a public statement...like kids in high school or college that wear each other's class rings? the whole going steady part?
Mon 08:29:17 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Very true Jewel......the velcro.......but part of that is not intentional....its for reasons I stated......being only visual makes it harder to communicate
Mon 08:29:45 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . very well said Mck....
Mon 08:30:33 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . also think that Some Dom/mes put on collars too quickly....dont take the time to get to know the subs.....but just My opinion
Mon 08:30:56 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Yes..in a way september....
Its like the Goth Gang.......some play dress up in that and say they are.....but never capturing its essence........same with Wiccans.....or Lifestylers
Mon 08:32:00 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Jewel....I think that also shows the insecurities ppl feel in vt
Mon 08:32:33 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . *nods* been here for going on 10 years...never been collared... almost once...but... hell, he was in Australia... always wanted to be asked though... just to know I was considered collar worthy...
Mon 08:33:24 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Once again.....Oone doesn't need to 'see' the collar to know Wwho they belong to....and that comes with openess ..honesty...love of self.....and trust
Mon 08:33:52 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . I have only put a collar on one...and that was just this past year...2005...and I have been here almost 6 years....
Mon 08:34:20 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . it is too hard to decide how far to go VT...
Mon 08:35:37 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Sapphic.....I have collared too many...*L*.......in wishful thinking that they would last.....and they never do......only in late last yr did I discover the devotion without the collar factor...and how it means more to Me
Mon 08:37:15 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . *nods, listening*
Mon 08:37:23 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
september.....even if vt isn't 'real' it can be the worst of mindfucks.....the emotions are just as real.....sometimes more so...
to Me..........vt SHOULD be treated as if it was rt.....because the feelings are just as real
Mon 08:38:01 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . Mck...was not referring to You..hope You did not take offense.....*smiles*
Mon 08:39:58 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Not at all Jewel..*L*.....Wwe all go thru the learning process...and when the learning is stopped....Wwe become ignorant assholes...*teasing grin*......Lord knows Wwe get Our share in vt
Mon 08:41:38 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . I agree...I think vt should be treated as rt... I am who I am, and I play myself...not someone I wish I was... so everything I say and do is me...always...
and I think we just did a great segway...
Mon 08:43:02 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . too many think they can compartmentalize all this... as just a game they play with live players... that can be turned on and off... and they refuse to accept they are more into this than they believe...
Mon 08:43:06 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . emotions in VT...are very real...*voice of experience*
some good times and some bad...
Mon 08:43:20 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . chuckling....
Mon 08:43:51 PM EST Jan 30 calysta . . . ~slips quietly to the back to catch up~
Mon 08:44:30 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
*L*..september....I come in here in 5in fuck Me pumps.......and there is no way I can do that in rt.......
what should be remembered that we can look the way we want in vt.......but being deceiving in Yyour personality is to Me....a form of mental abuse to Oone that can fall in love with Yyour persona
Mon 08:44:46 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . hi caly..*s*
Mon 08:45:27 PM EST Jan 30 calysta . . . ~soft smile~.....evening, Sapphic Jewel
Mon 08:45:33 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Hello caly...*grope*
Mon 08:45:35 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . would you classify those feelings as a second life? a life on the side... is it any different than having an emotional affair RT? Do you consider a vt relationship as an affair, if you had a committed relationship already in rt?
Mon 08:46:37 PM EST Jan 30 calysta . . . ~wicked grin to Lady Mckenna~...evening
Mon 08:46:57 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
My personality in rt is more dark temptress......but at least 40% is Mckenna........this is Me......or me......
I'm too old to try to make a fake personality....*L*....I would forget who I was....
Mon 08:48:22 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
september....the biggest thing ppl forget is that vt and rt are equally the same mental feelings....
The brain is the biggest sexual organ.....
Mon 08:49:49 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . I agree, but that does not answer my question *grins*
Mon 08:49:49 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
I don't get a throbbing clit at the obgyn when touched there........and thats physical
and yet.......I can come in here and damned near passout from Oone looking at Me a certain way........and thats completely mental
Mon 08:50:10 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . <...what you see is what you get......flaws and all.....
Mon 08:51:28 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . an emotional affair RT is still an affair even if it is not consummated... it is still giving one's feeling and attention to another not your RT committed relationship...
so, is VT emoting the same? (like my word? lol)
Mon 08:51:56 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
If Yyou become emotionally involved with Aanother in vt......and its sexually based
its an affair sans the concern of an STD
no sucha thang as VTVD
Mon 08:53:04 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . I have often wondered that myself september....
Mon 08:53:23 PM EST Jan 30 calysta . . . *chuckles at the thought of VTVD*
Mon 08:53:36 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
*adding*......unless Oone is in a poly and open situation....
Mon 08:53:45 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . dont think it has anything to do with sex...an affair..can be an affair of the heart...or if you will ...emotion...giving emotion to someone not yours....
Mon 08:54:14 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
caly....ain't I witty?....*L*
Mon 08:54:57 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
thats why I say sexually BASED.......*referring back to the biggest sex organ thingy*
Mon 08:55:07 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . going to be wrapping this months TimeOut up in just a few minutes.....am so happy for the thought provoking comments
Mon 08:55:17 PM EST Jan 30 calysta . . . You do have Your moments, Lady Mckenna.....*laughs softly*
Mon 08:55:46 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Rarely I do caly...must work on that...*L*
Mon 08:55:49 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . ahh gotcha Mck.....lol
Mon 08:55:52 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . an affair is an affair, even in a poly and open... under that, the question is, is it cheating, if you dont have permission... and even if you do? should you? lol
Mon 08:56:25 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . question 3?
Mon 08:56:50 PM EST Jan 30 september . . . can we answer that, both? lol
Mon 08:57:39 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . I think you pretty much did september....lol
Mon 08:58:45 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Once again that depends on the Ttwo involved...no one else should question the motives...but they do...
Nikoli and I are stretching into poly online only.....no emotional strings with Oothers besides friendship.....taking each one individually....assessing if it can work....and being very open about it all...so no hard feelings come up
Mon 09:01:19 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . . thank Yyou all for coming to the January TimeOut!
Next months TimeOut will be on February 27, 2006
thanks again..
Mon 09:02:12 PM EST Jan 30 calysta . . . ~smiles to Aall who participated...taking some thoughts with me...slipping out quietly~
Mon 09:02:28 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
Thanks Jewel....*rising with a grin*
Mon 09:03:15 PM EST Jan 30 Lady Mckenna . . .
~waves bye to the Oothers~
Mon 09:04:58 PM EST Jan 30 Sapphic Jewel . . .
~~Gone~~